As the year draws to a close, a lot may be going through your mind about the year that was. Some of us are reflecting on the positives that may have been achieved, while others are stuck on the negatives. No matter how difficult a task this may be, I believe for every negative, there is a positive.

The one error most people make is to assign these to a size. Small, seemingly insignificant things that may have happened appear to count far less than the big mishaps. There is no measure of either, in my view. No achievement is too small to be considered worthy and no mistake is too big to cause one to instantly write themselves off. It is on this basis that I write this piece with the aim of giving hope to those of us who find themselves on the bitter side of the stick when looking back at the year that was.

I believe, as well, in the notion of ‘there is a season for everyone’. Just as for every year, you will have every season and no one is exempted from experiencing any of them. I would like to be drawn to the fact that life somehow aligns itself as such.

With every new beginning, comes an ending and with every end, comes replenishment and renewal. It is important for that little bit of spark and hope in all of us to not be allowed to die. No form of rejection is too piercing to cause us to lose hope and to resort to ways that will result in us writing off hope for a better day. It is important for us to not only believe in ourselves and capabilities but also have the belief that there is a Higher Being who is in charge and will always have the best interests at heart for us. It’s also important to always believe in a better tomorrow and in a better year to come.

A ‘NO’ should not be considered as a command to give in and stop the fight. But should rather be seen as a ‘NO. Not now.’

Some of us may have heard a relatively greater number of “NO’s” to “YES’s” but that does not mean you are the worst person in the world because of a meagre two letter word. I mean it’s only just two letters, how powerless can it be?

For those with a list of goals that is halfway from being completed, there is still time, yes and this year, to get somethings done. And what about next year? That should give you much more time to work on them. I am sure it’s not a crime to carry some of the items over. But it’s important for us to always keep moving, to always get the ball rolling and to never allow ourselves to be disheartened or get complacent. If you have targets to reach, write them down, have a system to measure them and work on them constantly. Be consistent on this. I still need to catch up on my reading requirements backlog and follow up on some ‘dares/challenges’ that I took on this year.

1. Matters Of The Heart.

This is not the easiest of subjects to deal with but is worth beginning with. Sometimes we win, and sometimes not, when it comes to love. Some are lucky (I think blessed is a better choice of term to use) while others are not so lucky but one thing’s for certain, it is a psychological need of belonging that all of us need fulfilled. Having that special person to share that with is always a great thing especially if both parties are on the same page and are respecting each other’s views, background and ambitions.

But the inverse is also an unfortunate reality. People hurt and get hurt and it’s this kind of hurt that can easily put some people off the journey towards that kind of happiness. I am no Dr Love at all but I am firm believer in not writing one’s self off finding true love, no matter how unattainable this task may seem. If you are lucky enough to have that true love experience at the moment, I would say great on you but would also encourage you to continuously work on that to maintain the spark. Treasure the moments, respect the other person, I mean it’s not easy to share a priceless organ such as a heart with another so see it as that and keep it in that high regard. Where love is concerned, no one is worth being written off from its prospects.

2. Finances & Career Growth Prospects.

Finances are always a matter that can affect one’s happiness and to some extent, belonging. It’s important to also note that finances are relative. One person’s actual take-home, can actually be enough to feed more than three families at once, can be considered ‘not enough’. There is no crime in always gunning for more and no shame in being appreciative of the little that one gets. Save up as much as you can, where you can, whatever little you can and try to live according to your means. Have financial goals, stick to them, think of joining a savings stokvel next year or start being savvy with your cash. Explore ‘tax-free savings and investments’ if you happen to have some cash to spare at the end of the month, and see how that goes. You can begin with this December even as your basis. Don’t be too shy to reward yourself as reasonably as possible when you’ve achieved some of your goals. Speak to a financial planner even. No financial situation is too dire to not consider some help, which is readily available. I know not all of us are diligent when it comes to finances, myself included.

Careers are always leaving us questioning our personal growth prospects year on year. Maybe this has not been the best year for you, career-wise, have hope for the new year. Look for opportunities everywhere, and wherever you are now is a good starting point. Open twice as many doors in front of you as those that get shut before you. Some of us need to up skill ourselves, learn a new course, or register for that postgrad degree that has been hanging or in the pipeline for sometime, we (yes, myself included) must just go for it. Some of us just need that added push to keep going. To make that career move or change. To keep on pressing on until we get to that desired career state we all have in our plans because learning and knowledge never have an expiry date.  Whatever bad which may have happened, career-wise this year, take it as a learning curve. It’s not the end.

3. Personal Development.

Most people often begin the new year with a  list of resolutions. Maybe the word ‘resolutions’ is not such a favourable choice of term to use, in that case I shall resort to using ‘things to do or accomplish’. And in that list, there is often some vacuum which could be due to a number of unforeseen circumstances such as finances, time management or complete oversight but I am certain there are items that are ticked off.  You are capable of achieving all the best things that you have lined up for yourself and there is never a limit to personal development. The end of the year does and should not mean the end of your personal development and I mean, in these last weeks, come to think of it actually, much can be achieved. Learning to swim, seeing a psychologist about some deep-rooted personal struggles, forgiving someone and letting go of some of those things that weigh us down, believing in and supporting someone, starting up a business, supporting a friend’s business, learning a new skill, volunteering at a local NPO, fixing your finances or sending that e-mail or making that call to that company you have always wanted to work for seeking an opportunity – all of these and more are still worth attaining no matter how the year may have gone for you.

4. Adventure & Travel.

Now this is my personal favourite. It’s important that during this time off, if possible, you travel and get that adventure game face on. You will learn a lot about other people and their cultures, get to experience a different part of the country or the world and you will get the time to really reflect and take stock of the year that was. This will assist you in mapping out a clear way forward for the new year. Adventure, to me, is freedom. Doing something out of the extreme allows you to explore, live, let loose and have fun. I have not been a fan of doing extreme things myself but after bungee jumping from the Bloukrans bridge, an act I vowed never to do but eventually did, I must say, that experience allowed me to taste freedom and you should try many of the adventurous things to do out there.

5. Relationships.

Mistakes are bound to happen and no mistake is too big to be fixed. Humans make errors on a daily basis and as such, it is an important aspect of life that allows us to grow while learning. Mistakes are part of the decision-making process and as such, the more of them you make, there more opportunity there is for you to grow. Relationships are also a complicated space to explore but are a critical part of life. I personally do not believe in the quest for perfect relationships but I am all for the relationships that build. Quality relationships that build character, offer a firm support system, encourage and are frank. These are all the benefits of a healthy relationship from the people and company you keep around you. Things may not have gone that well for you in this department, no matter the kind of relationship you have in mind at the moment, but all should and must not be lost.

Allow this time of the year to rekindle the relationships and friendships that may have broken due to whatever reason, talk to the person, confront the situation, forgive and apologize, if there was hurt experienced or caused and make it a point to work (continuously) on regaining the trust that may have been compromised. Here’s to more stronger and quality relationships for all of us during the remainder of the year and beyond.

So please, don’t write yourself off as yet…