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Having someone to guide you navigate through this complicated thing called life is essential for everyone. No one is an island and that is where the principle of mentorship stems its stature. It does not matter the expertise you have at a particular field or how old or young you think, or as for some, feel they are. We all get to a stage in our lives when we just need someone else to hold our hand in assisting us to walk across bridges, stones and rugged terrain. One thing I have noted about people who have succeeded in life is that when you closely follow their stories, there are clear signs of the intervention of mentorship.

Mentorship is an age-old tradition that will never fade any time soon. Just as the story of “Mentor” depicts as highlighted by Shea, Gordon F. (1997) Mentoring (Rev. Ed.). Menlo Park, CA: Crisp Publications where King of Ithaca, Odysseus, who was fighting a war left the protection and care of his son Telemuchus to Mentor, who then took care, raised and groomed him until father and son reunited ten years later. Granted, recently there are fancy words to define it like ‘shadowing’ & ‘apprenticeship’ but it is in my view that mentorship is still a common denominator across.

The word ‘mentor’ simply means to advise, entrust, guide and oversee. Mentorship is a critical vehicle of human development where someone invests their time, energy, skills and knowledge into someone else who has a desire to know more, develop personally and grow while making good use of the interaction with the mentor. In my line of work, I acknowledge the positive impact of mentorship as it has aided me steer clear of giving up, making career-threatening or limiting decisions and hitting dead ends where the betterment of my life is concerned. I undertook a mini personal study, though predominantly a reflection of personal experience with the concept, and discovered some secrets to mentorship which are revealed below.

1. The mentee drives the mentorship process.

Contrary to popular belief, mentorship is a mentee-driven initiative. This is probably the most misinterpreted aspect in the process of mentorship and it is important for the reality to be unearthed. A mentor may not always be out to offer their time and service because of the hectic schedules they may have but when the mentee is on the fore-front of the mentorship initiative, it makes things a lot easier to accommodate for the mentor. This also means that the mentor knows that he/she is dealing with someone committed, driven and passionate; that on its own is enough to make the mentor more inspired to make a difference and equally commit to the process. Most people are often willing to share their knowledge, wisdom and experience but to someone with the desire to seek.

After the mentee does self-introspection and identifies a weakness or area in their life where growth is required or where urgent change needs to takes place and does the effort to seek out the right person from which to get assistance from, only then will the initiative be initiated. The mentee must go out, set up the appointment, send e-mails, read up, make the time to meet up, converse with and do regular feedback sessions with the mentor. This is necessary as there can be a wall between the mentee and mentor that only the mentee must show attempts to try and disassemble. This can be a daunting task. But I have found that being on-the-ball with regards to discovering your potential mentor’s schedule, working around it and making the effort through it, makes all the trouble worth it for the mentor to put in the work equally to effect the desired change. Identifying someone as a possible candidate to be your mentor is a huge step on its own. It’s a matter of being able to easily reap from what one sows. The mentor is an important aspect of the process but to fully enjoy the benefits, it’s the mentee that pioneers, is in control of, puts in and drives the entire process. It is only through this realization and the resultant dedication to the ultimate goal, that real mentorship begins.

2. Mentorship involves communication.

In as much mentorship is a mentee-driven process, I cannot stress enough the importance of communication. As someone who prefers writing things down and adhering to some schedule, I had things that I wanted to achieve in my line of work and life in general. None of these mattered when I was the only one who knew about them. There was a time when I would patiently wait for my mentor to make the first move, check up on me and request to meet up, you know, be ‘first’ at this communication thing – let the mentor push this thing for already for me. When you are in that mind space, trust me, you will wait there for a pretty long time until you make the move. When I started to communicate regularly as I could and engaged more with my mentor, only then did I start reaping the fruits of mentorship. So, communicate, communicate and communicate. Break that wall, make the first move (most of the time) engage and come out of the private and quiet shell. This point leads me to my next one.

3. Mentorship is a ‘bridging-the-gap’ tool.

When I started work fresh from graduation, I was shocked by how much I still had to learn in terms of gaining workplace experience and skills. The gap I saw between myself and colleagues who were my immediate seniors in the same field was massive. I felt like there was a fault in-between us and that scared me. How was I going to bridge this gap? Will it ever be bridged? If at all? I then started to speak with the seniors that were on the other side of this gap to attempt closing this wedge. At times it worked, other times, it did not but something during this ‘speaking with them phase’ was happening. I was communicating. Asking. Talking. E-mailing. I was learning something new each day and was on my path towards attaining those attributes that existed as a gap between me and them.

A path that I am still undertaking; it is progressive, unending and the fact that I am not allowing it to lead me towards the notion of ‘reaching my limit’ I am gaining a great deal more from it with each new encounter. Life has so much to teach us. We just need to be open about that and bring it closer – it’s precisely what mentorship does. It serves as that bridge that offers you free access between you and who you want to become thus leading you towards becoming the best person you never imagined you would be. Be willing to be taught in order to be your best as well.

4. Mentorship is dynamic.

In as much as the world changes daily, so does mentorship. Technology makes everything that previously appeared far of our reach, very accessible. I would like to believe that there is no one great formula for mentorship as it is a dynamic process. This allows for a flexible way of looking at mentorship apart from it being seen as a completely formal process. I have found to learn a great deal from my mentors simply by having lunch with them, observing and listening to them and attending some events with them. Chat with your mentors via WhatsApp, Facebook, LinkedIn or Skype. Nothing stops you from sending a text or e-mail and making a call to your mentor when you need advice. One day you may be required to put in a great deal of effort in researching ,doing background checks, volunteering or investigating something in detail yourself, the next, you are relaxed and learning about something during a simple conversation with the mentor or while sharing some humour with them. When you become open to the dynamic nature of mentorship, you are then able to be free, open and always looking forward to what the next form of interaction with your mentor will bring.

5. Mentorship has no expiry date.

And this is the million dollar realization or must I rather say secret? I was in a meeting at work this one day and was impressively taken by what my manager said in passing to the team. I will get to what he said shortly as I round off this piece but I want to highlight one of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life – well two, come to think of it. One, was thinking that after graduating, I would have achieved most of what life had in store for me. Two, was thinking to myself that, when I am able to do one, two or three of the things that the seniors in my work field could do then I would be considered a senior and competent person myself.

I was wrong in both instances.

One – yes, graduating was a big thing for me but it meant that I was only half-way towards achieving things that I longed for in my life. It was actually the beginning of my other learning phase. I don’t know what to call this learning stage, but that was when it launched.

Two – yes, being able to do those four or eleven things that I felt my immediate seniors could do in the job myself was ideal but there was a whole lot that I picked up along the way from total strangers and the job itself, apart from the list I had created for myself. And it’s those little things, I gained indirectly while in pursuit of acquiring the  top whatever numbered-skills I had in mind to have to be like the seniors,  that have mattered the most in my life. Mentorship has made me realize and appreciate the fact that I do not have to be like anybody else but to be more like myself and that is what will set me apart from any one else. The fact that I made no time limit for myself for this has made things a lot easier for me as well.

Back to the profound thing my manager said in that meeting at work one day. He said this in passing but had a significant impact to my outlook on mentorship ever since. He made a comment about how he too is also learning something new each day and how he also still gets help from his mentor once in a while.

Right there and then, it dawned – senior positions at our workplaces do not mean that a person knows it all and that is why a manager has a team to lead. The team members all offer some form of expertise to help the manager in making informed decisions for the company or business. And if my own manager still has a mentor and is being mentored, then there is no limit or expiry date to this mentorship thing.

Reference

Story of ‘Mentor’ http://www.learningservices.emory.edu/mentor_emory/mentorstory.html From Shea, Gordon F. (1997) Mentoring (Rev. Ed.). Menlo Park, CA: Crisp Publications