I grew up in Soweto, a very lively and historical South African township.

I grew up in a time where streets were always a hub of activity with children playing around carefree, neighbours knew one another and almost everyone knew each other. As children, we played without minding who we are playing together with and there were no gender specific games and roles. We played with any kid who was around and we made friends with ease. People greeted one another and celebrations were shared. Feasts were also shared amongst anyone who visited and longed for a bite. Streets were relatively safe and everyone looked after one another. You found an uncle sitting on a porch and upon your arrival, will be drawn towards them for the fascinating stories and insights on life they shared freely. Storytelling was still a thing and it added significant value to our imagination. The calibre of games played as well was remarkable and helped boost hand-eye coordination, team work, agility, tact and innovation at a short space of time. It was like we were one big family.

Not anymore.

Streets are now deserted. Children are now spending more time on their phones either on social media, taking selfies or playing various forms of games. People are interacting face-to-face less now. Dinner tables are abandoned. Conversations are now limited to shortened answers with no depth. We are now hiding so much behind our phones and at home behind our high walls – keeping to ourselves. We are not sharing much -food, secrets, triumphs, moments of celebration and success that happen in our lives.

I wonder what has changed.

Streets are no longer safe. The rise in gender-based violence and tragic crimes in the country have resulted in the fear of children walking and playing carefree outside. Parents are now no longer comfortable to allow their young to play outside at times. Sending a child to a spaza shop to go buy bread or a 2l coke bottle has now become a deadly risk. This is however not true for every township but statistics reveal that this trend is growing each year and it’s quite scary.

Life as I know it has completely changed.

I am an example of someone whose education has enabled to be fortunate enough and be classified as a middle class economic status. I have been able to afford a lifestyle as a complex resident. I have always dreamt of staying at a quiet estate, somewhere peaceful and slightly outside of the main town CBD because I am someone who loves and appreciates their own space. Whether or not the move to a complex was a good one, one that I do not regret making, still needs to be evaluated but what I’ve appreciated to date is that there’s a lot more hassles than there are peaceful instances as a complex resident.

Although I must admit that I am a people’s person, I do prefer my own quality space at home most of the time – This I consider to be sacred. So, does the complex life offer me that? Well, not in its entirety, would be my answer but there are a lot of things that are different now to what I was used to while growing up especially where living spaces are concerned.

The complex life offers me a relatively tight security sense with that an extra sense of comfort at knowing that there are people who are doing the rounds to check if all units of the complex are safe as opposed to what a standalone house would offer. You do not feel like you are living in complete isolation as units are mostly close to one another than far apart but that does not always mean that people who reside in complexes are necessarily ‘close‘. To date, I do not even know one of my neighbours by name and we pass each other almost everyday and we’ve never spoken to each other. I have tried to start a conversation through a gentle greeting here and there but that is where it ends – here and there and it fizzles. I have since given up trying to build some kind of friendship or relation because I find it pointless.

Thankfully, it is just with this one neighbour, I am pretty much okay with the others. I am content with that but surely as someone who grew up in a community-type of childhood where neighbours knew one another and were friendly and courteous with each other – this is unheard of and should be worrying me. The other thing is, this one neighbour appears to be like a bully at times. He parks one of his SUVs on my lawn yard whenever he feels like it – it’s like he owns that part of my outside yard. He always blasts loud music over the weekend from his cars each time he washes them – and he’s got more than one car. Feels like he can park them anywhere and at whenever he wants to and the complex has limited parking spaces available. His tendencies at times contribute negatively towards the peace at such an establishment.

There is no WhatsApp group for the complex whatsoever and we all get together to complain and moan about this and that happening at the complex only once in a year during the AGM. Maybe I should create one?…

There is a rule with regards to no cats or pets that are loitering in the complex streets. This one is a lie and is never adhered to. I am also very afraid of cats and an encounter with one, especially at night, all of a sudden when I go outside is another horror story on its own. I like the grass and gardening maintenance -I am not the best at this so the complex-life makes my life easier on that regard. I grew up having to clean up and wash after myself but there is this growing need and pressure to get some form of assistance with that as with the increasing demands of work and the less time I get to spend at home over the weekends affects the frequency at which I would normally attend to these chores at the house.

The dreaded levy costs. Do they really matter and are they necessary? Well, they are a must if you stay in a complex and avoiding to pay them may result in legal action being instituted. They do assist with ensuring that the body corporate can do its work; pay for maintenance, security costs and oh and that body corporate thing gets on my nerves at times. So to avoid these unnecessary ‘levy’ and other added costs, opt for a standalone house.

Cultural practices die slowly with such a move. I have not seen any ritual practices being done anywhere nor have I heard of umqombothi being prepared somewhere at the complex. Or maybe I do not walk around as much at the complex or people are much more discrete about these now. Do most people living in estates even know how to prepare the traditional beer? Back home, when one had an event that needed the main road to be closed due to space constraints, a simple petition to the nearby houses and necessary authorization from the local council and the entire road is cordoned off for the special event on a temporary basis. Then a tent can be easily set up. I have never seen a tent set up inside a complex, do people still find these relevant while staying at complexes? It may look weird but I am sure it’s got to do with the rules & regulations that each complex may have in place. It’s like you’re a part of a community but you’re actually not. Not sure if that makes any sense. The high walls still serve as a barrier for privacy and people don’t visit each other as much. It may be due to the protection of one’s space that is at play, I presume.

No one bothers to check if the neighbour’s yard or unit is safe when they go for a long holiday. No one checks up if all is still seemingly okay through a visual inspection. I must add that I do this regularly whenever my other neighbour informs me that they will not be around for some time. Even when an apparent issue ensues that would normally draw attention, please often choose silence and ignorance. “It’s not our unit so let’s allow them to sort out their own problems.” type of attitude prevails. We’re even afraid to reprimand each other’s kids when we see them do foul play when they play at complexes because it’s only back in the days where the saying “it takes a village to raise a child” would be most applicable for this. I wonder if this practice is still alive at townships. These days, one simply moves along and pretends as if they didn’t see anything. It’s sad.

Speaking of kids playing outside, how are the poor kids expected to play freely outside the complex if some inconsiderate resident’s vicious dogs are loitering outside all day? What about those speed maniacs who never adhere to the complex’s driving speed limit? When there is no proper playing ground for the kids, like ours, the risk is often high to have children playing outside to be honest.

The main entrance to the complex may also pose a problem if tail gating occurs and no one monitors its compliance. How certain are you of tracking the people coming in and out of the complex if more than one vehicle can pass through at each entrance and exit? Maybe as I said, I need to establish a WhatsApp group and attempt to mobilize the fellow residents to take action over such matters that could be on our control. Then I remember my one neighbour (the other one, the bully whose name I do not know to this day) and wonder how that would be achieved. But it’s better to fail trying than to fail at not even trying at all.

So, in my view, not all things are greener for the complex kind of life and people need to find what works for them, as I currently am. The option to move to a township kind of setting is always there and can always be considered.

This view on complexes is not in anyway representative of all estates or complexes as each one is unique and each has a different body corporate from the other. I am certain that there is an effective body corporate at some complex somewhere in the world, I just need to find one. I once stayed at one such complex where things were more or less okay, but rules were and will always be there whether one likes them or not. But bear in mind that it’s something one cannot avoid if they seek residence at such an establishment unless one decides as I said, to go for a standalone unit. Each for their own, each with its own pros and cons.

But things are way different now to how they were while I grew up – that’s for sure.